Friends

The night before the ISC history exam I got a panic attack.

"Shitshitshit."
Jayatri continued looking over chemistry formulae knowing I'd elaborate soon.
"Listen man.This scope says Nassers role in NAM is to be studied in detail
"Okay Joey.So study it in detail."
"Its two o clock at night!But thats not the problem...Khan had asked me to photocopy her notes on it and distribute it in class.There was a bandh or something so I thought I'd mail it to people later.."
"And you forgot?"
*Guilty look* "Ki kori ebar?I mean if a question on that is in tomorrows paper I will be crucified."
"Do something.Go to school early tomorrow and tell people whats in the note.They can then attempt the ojectives or whatever."
"I can't do that.I dont know anything about the NAM except what the acromym stands for.I left out the entire segment re."
"Wonderful.Then you will just get screwed tomorrow."
*Feverish nail biting* "I know..royally."
Then I performed my usual stress routine.Walked around the room jerkily.Took large gulps from the coke bottle.Desperately crunched on soya sticks then went to the loo.
After that there was simply nothing left to be done.All the while oblivious to the fact that someone else was trying to study in the same room.I mean I had a problem with a capital p, did no one in the whole wide world care??
Yes thats how selfish I can be.
"Jayatri..."
She shut her book and looked up.
"Joey stop freaking out!You'll do have choice in the paper,don't you?"
"Ye-es..."
"Besides it not your fault.."
Weak protest from me.
"She just shouldn't have given it to an irresponsible dumbfuck like you."

I'd always believed that friends were for JUST this.

Load shedding.And something in me would be smiling inspite of the complaints.I'd sneak into a corner,lean thin shoulders against a rough wall and savour the silence-time.The mind would pick up a stray thread of reality and build around it.Any number of pleasant falsities.And nobody would interrupt with a jarring-Dinner khabena?It does not matter that the object in question was an idiot.I didnt know that then and rather liked my softly trembling reveries.
Of course it was sheer inexcusable nyakami.So when I look back I am filled with contempt and perhaps also ...a little envy.For Load sheddings aren't the same anymore.
I once tried to simulate the environment.Placed myself next to a window and played some suitable music.Then waited paitently for it to happen.Nothing happened.The moon looked down at me insipid,cynical.Feeling an utter fool I tore the earphones off and flung the blasted thing away.
Idiot me.